Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Fun with Numbers

Oooh, I had such fun yesterday! Hee hee, I spent the whole day playing with the stock market. I cast a nice little enchantment on it that made the numbers go up and down, up and down, up and down. Do you know what the numbers did next? Hee hee, they went up and down again!

Oh the chaos! The panic! One terrified investor actually leapt out of his office window! I don't go in for that murder stuff (waste of perfectly good humans), so I made sure to give him something soft to land in: a truck carrying a load of manure! It sure confused the driver, since he was out in the boonies one minute and in a city the next. Poor fella dropped his big cigar right into his lap! Guess he and the Mrs. won't be having any more wee ones in the future . . . hmm, maybe I'll surprise them with a baby on their doorstep. Sometimes I sneak into foundling homes and steal little infant mess-makers, then leave them on the doorsteps of deserving folks. Surprised? Well, I figure babies are off-limits for my fun. I mean, the little things can't really fight back or do much more than eat, cry, and leak lots of disgusting stuff. I give 'em a break when I can; you know, do my bit for charity. See, I'm not always bad! There are many, many sides to my nature . . .

Well anyhow, that's not all the merrywiggling fun from yesterday. When the numbers were going up and down and all that, a whole bunch of spectacled, buck-toothed mathematicians and surly, fat businessmen were scratching their heads and just about going mad trying to figure out what was going on. I figured things weren't quite zinglezangy enough, so I let loose a dozen over-fed pigeons in the stock exchange. Of course, all the noise and chaos made the birds real nervous. Anyone know what pigeons do when they're nervous? Yup, you guessed it! All over the hoards of people standing around anxiously watching the numbers do their dance! Hee hee hee! Gee golly willackers, what a lot of fun!

I wonder why they call this a Depression. I'm sure not depressed!

No comments:

Post a Comment