Something in one of the other posts reminded me about something that annoys me greatly. Vampires.
I hate vampires. While I don't generally have a problem with the dead, I don't think that they should be walking around and biting people. (I don't like zombies either). They should stay in their coffins where they belong. I admit, I DO have a vampire sidekick/fall guy/minion. This hasn't changed my mind on the matter, though. In fact, every time I trip over Mort's corpse in the hallway during the day, or he drinks the blood I'm trying to keep for my potions, I seriously consider putting him right back in the coffin.
" But," some people tell me, "vampires are cool! They're strong, and fast, and have fangs! And some sort of mysterious sex appeal!" Bullcrap. Yes, they're strong, fast, fangy corpses. This is sort of undermined by the fact that they burn in the sunlight, and often have severe reactions to garlic, silver and being stabbed with wooden stakes. Werewolves are also strong, fast, and have fangs, but they are much less vulnerable. (I don't like werewolves either, but the dog-breaths are a rant for another day.) And the so-called "sex appeal" of vampires? Please. If you think that corpses are sexy, well, there's a name for that. And you should probably see a therapist. (If I am telling you that you need to see a therapist, you really need to see a therapist.)
If anyone is wondering if my vampire lackwit lackey will read this- don't worry. He can't read anything that's more difficult than "See Spot run."
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