Well. The reason all of us “evil” beings are on here is to give each other advice, right? Up until this point, I haven’t really felt that I needed any. I know how to kill, how to work sorcery, and how to blow things up for the heck of it. And I’m not really interested in you manipulative, and/or delusional god types.
But now I’ve found something that I really don’t know how to do. As much as it pains me to say it. I need advice on giving a woman a gift.
Now, I just want to be clear that this is a very difficult woman we’re talking about. If she weren’t, I’d have no problem. But for some reason she isn’t interested in C-4, or custom hexes, or a demon familiar. I even offered her my best automatic grenade launcher, and she just laughed and patted me on the head! Me!
She really is a fascinating creature, with a startling and very attractive aptitude for violence, and I want to give her something that she’ll really like. But I’m kind of at a loss here.
Any suggestions?
Why do you bother plying her with gifts, just let a little geas magic slip into your voice and command her to love you. There is no need for these worries about gifts and attractions when we have magic to do our work for us.
ReplyDeleteAnd give up the thrill of winning her? That's no sport, Finneas!
ReplyDeleteHmm... I would have thought those gifts sufficient- perhaps deeds and not gifts are the key? What is it that interests her? Perhaps there is a game that she favors, or else a sport she enjoys?
Who wants sport I just want a good &$^#!
ReplyDelete$^#@ IT! $*#@&#* censoring!
ReplyDeleteI like to harass and irritate women -- I've never tried to win one before. I think you should give her flowers with itching powder sprinkled lightly on the blossoms.
ReplyDeleteFinnias- If she were susceptible to glamour, she wouldn't be nearly so interesting.
ReplyDeleteLoki- I think you understand my motivation better. I appreciate a challenge.
Renard- I'm too young to die.