So, we're supposed to be introducing ourselves here, I had a few choice words about that but Atticus told me I have to. He'll be here soon enough so I'll let him introduce himself. I'm currently living near Amherst, Va, up in the mountains and I'm looking for two things.
Number One is my traitorous, hell-bound, little, mongrel, wretch of a son Ithiel, may eternal pain fill his days and untold horrors haunt his nights until I kill him after which he can burn in the fires of hell for eternity while I laugh. His name is Ithiel Ghall, mine is Finnias by the way, and if you know anything about him then post a comment, I'll come take him off your hands faster than you can blink.
Number Two is a little amulet, it's old, shaped like the head of the Egyptian god Set, and has an inscription written in hieroglyphics. I've been able to track it to somewhere in Southwestern Virginia or Northern North Carolina in about 1710, after that I'm not sure where it went. It might still be here, it's called, surprisingly enough, The Ankh of Set. Although it's not actually an Ankh so, I'm not sure why.
That being said, if any of you can give me information about either of these there will be a reward, I promise, it will be amazing.
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Ok, I lied about that. I'm just not gonna kill you, which really should be a reward in and of itself, I mean, you get to live.
So, a little bit about me, I like power and I kill people that get in my way, I died a really long time ago and a year later wiped the floor with most of Spain. I don't sound like a man out of my time even though I am, why? Because I love change, I live for change, hell I've got an I-Touch. I do my best to keep up with the times, though I do like to hold on to some older words, like wicked, wicked was an awesome expletive. I don't know why it disappeared, especially since you people replaced it with phat. Someone please explain to me how phat is better than wicked in any conceivable way.
No, scratch that, I don't fell like wading through a thousand emails filled with horse crap. Don't try to explain it to me, it is inexplicable.
Now most people will tell you that evil people always see themselves as being 'good' or 'doing what's necessary' but that's a load of bull. I'm evil and I know it, I love being evil, by Wodan's blackened bier of skulls I'll give the devil himself a run for his money. You see, being evil is just more fun, and I love fun. Power is fun, killing is fun, doing whatever I want, whenever I want is fun. So yeah, you can call me childish if you want, but I get to enjoy to rest of eternity doing what I love to do and you, you get to die, alone, in a nursing home because none of your children love you.
Which of us do you think is better off?
Is that enough or do you want to know more?
Seriously, frikkin people always wasting my time, I have better things to do.
Um, I suggest you reconsider the whole reward thing. If I find your kid or this amulet first, you're not giving me a whole lot of incentive to give them back...
ReplyDeleteThe milksop vampire is always hungry.
I might be convinced to impart some of my vast magical learning, or a couple of grimiores from my library. Especially if you bring the little bastard to me intact. I have a lot of pain in store for him.
ReplyDeleteIf you find the Amulet, well, I'll hear about it, and if you don't give it to me then I'll just come and take it. I have a lot more than some milksop vampire to help me out.
My dear little Finnias, you speak as a fool. You should take no pleasure in killing. If a thing is killed, it has no more to offer you. It simply rots away into nothingness. The living can be exploited and therefore life--at least a certain manner of it--should be encouraged. Death should only be encouraged when a being has outlived its usefulness and can only absorb more resources than it can create.
ReplyDeleteWhat is this "Hell" you speak of? Is it a world? It sounds intriguing.
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ReplyDeleteAh you see, it is as I was only just expounding upon. The problem today is that far too many people are going about their evil deeds in a bumbling, almost childlike manner.
ReplyDeleteOf course you cannot find your son. You are seeking him in the wrong way, with all of your desires open and spread about for all to see. It is only natural that he will not return to you now. If you are to catch this boy, you must set a trap for him, entice him, offer him something he cannot refuse. When he has betrayed his own weakness by falling into your trap, then, and only then, should you indulge in rapturous monologues and subsequently eliminate him.
My admonitions aside, I do wish you the best in this endeavor, Finnias. If you would like any poisons for finishing the boy off once you have captured him, you need only ask. I have a particularly delicious toxicant that leaves its victims writhing on the floor in sheer, unadulterated agony for up to a week before it induces them to pry their own heads from their bodies. It is highly enjoyable to watch, I can assure you.
Finnias, I can well understand your trouble. I, too, am searching for a lost son. I'm going to have him beheaded in front of the entire capitol city when I catch that miscreant.
ReplyDeleteAlicia, my darling, you never cease to enchant me with your scintillating wit and brilliance, your exquisite face, your sheer perfection of form . . . I wrote you another sonnet this morning.
Korluus: I'm not particularly interested in usefulness, killing people makes me laugh, therefore it is good. Unlike you I have no interest in conquest or lordship, I just want to have my power and glory in it. Let the world burn for all I care, I'll just find another one, all I have to do, apparently, is find this Waverly Hall place.
ReplyDeleteOh, and hell is...hell, an eternity or torment, darkness, and despair where the soul slowly rots away until all that remains is a knot of hopeless misery and pain. A perfect place for my son.
Alicia: You have obviously never met my son. He studied under me for fifty years before he stabbed me in the back and left me for the inquisition. He knows that my hate will never die, and he is not weak, unfortunately I taught the little bastard very, very well. He's also had five hundred years to disappear, something which I taught him very, very well. I thought I had him in Venice once in 1719, but it wasn't him. As for your poison, give my son a week and he'll have made himself an antidote and disappeared again. No, when I find the boy he dies, immediately, straight to hell and then I can sit back and laugh.
Haden: I hope you find your son, make sure you kill him quickly, those heroic types have a habit of popping up at the last minute.
Haden, I've told you, Edric is not a concern to us. Let the boy run to his heart's content. Let him flee as far as Maglindosh if it so pleases him. He is unimportant. It is the girl, his little wife, who so deeply intrigues me. She is the one we must find.
ReplyDelete